Getting Help

Having told you that losing weight is up to you, I can reassure you that you are unlikely to be doing this alone. We do not live in isolation. It is very unlikely that you live and work without contact with other people. If you have a family, your family members will be involved. If you live with friends or a partner, then you will have to explain to them what you are doing because they will be affected. Your friends, acquaintances and colleagues have a role in your plans. 

There is also professional help to consider. There are professional dietitians, your GP and other health practitioners who will support your efforts. The growing weight problem of the UK population is recognised as a health risk and therefore a major and increasing cost for the National Health Service. The French authorities also recognise this problem and the social costs that face the state, not to mention the human cost of potential illness, lost days working, health treatment, stress and so forth. All the countries in the developing world face the same challenge. Unless there are specific medical conditions which make following the plan I advocate undesirable for you, your health professionals will not discourage you from following this plan. If this plan is not for you, they will nevertheless support your desire to lose weight.

The Dukan Diet offers a counselling support service. I did not use it, but when I explain how I lost weight, I would encourage you to look at the support on offer by the programme. More of that later.

Assuming you live with others, share meals with others, then those people will need to know of your plans. I recommend in any case that you should treat mealtimes as social occasions. Households which sit together for their meals as often as possible are usually happier. Eating proper meals is also a good dietary practice. It is not possible to do this for every meal every single day but I have known families which have abandoned communal meals altogether. Each member of the family prepares something different whenever they fancy eating. Meals are taken from a tray, cookers and microwaves run twenty times a day, there is a tendency towards ready meals. It is easy to overeat when you follow this pattern. There is no point being over idealistic. A family which can take every single meal together is very fortunate, but I think a family should try to eat together at least once a day most days.

If you have decided to change the way you eat, you will need to tell those closest to you. They should understand what you are going to eat and what you intend to avoid. This is crucial if you do not prepare the food, or do the shopping. It is equally important to explain why you are possibly buying different things and preparing the meals differently if ever you cook or go shopping. 

Your family, your partner or your housemates should be pleased for you and encouraging. They will see that this is important to you and that you have set yourself a target. They will be curious about what you are going to do. Your spouse or partner may, if they also have a weight problem, be inspired to lose weight with you. If this happens, it is a very good thing. If you can do this together, it will be easier, since you can keep preparing food to share and you can encourage and support one another on the path to your desired weight. It is good for a couple to do things together; this can bring you closer. Even if no one else is going to join you, they will understand why you perhaps decline to share the takeaway curry or the visit to the fish and chip shop. 

As far as your workmates or other friends are concerned, you should also find most are supportive. Whether you feel the need to tell everyone straight off what you are doing depends on you and them. If you have regular lunch partners at work, then they will either have to be told or will quickly find out that you are changing your lunch habits. You will then have to explain what is going on out of common courtesy.

In any case you will find your colleagues are supportive. I did not immediately tell people what I was doing. Believe it or not, I am quite a private person, reticent about sharing and particularly reticent about sharing failure. I thought that if everyone knows I am taking this on only to fail, or give up quickly, then I will look stupid. I also feared derisory and discouraging comments which might have weakened my resolve. I did not fail quickly. I found however after a week of turning down chocolates and putting off lunch invitations I was obliged to explain. The response was positive from everyone I work with. As you will see, the weight loss from the plan produces fast, visible results. Others will notice and comment, and then you will feel as I did and be proud to say what you are doing.

I was wrong not to have told my friends and colleagues what I was up to. The support I received was almost universal. The positive energy from this encouraged me to stick to my plan. This may have been related to my fear of public failure; once others know I was more determined than ever to stick to my guns and see the plan through. In fact my workmates asked whether there was anything they should do, whether they should hide the biscuits or at least not eat them in front of me. They enquired about my progress and complimented me on my slimmer appearance. 

That is worth more than gold as you progress. You will see yourself in the mirror and you will be able to compare photos of yourself to see how you are changing. Being told you look good by someone else will raise your self-esteem and reinforce the positive side of what you are doing. Getting professional help is up to you and if you find having a trained support available then you should choose that option. Receiving an unsolicited compliment is both surprising and priceless.

Despite your possible concerns, you are almost certainly surrounded by an unpaid support network who will encourage you, point out the positive and will maybe even join you on your path to a slimmer you. But what about the pessimists? I feared doubters, and derision. There were a very few among my circle. There was one person who had heard very negative reports about the plan I chose to follow. It turned out that this person had unsuccessfully tried to lose weight and had not actually tried what I did. If you have tried other ways of losing weight unsuccessfully, perhaps someone might be sceptical about your ability to stay the course. 

Even though you will undoubtedly get more positive responses than negative ones, I will spend some time on this. Negative comments weigh heavily, whatever it is about. I once read that one needs three positives to balance a single negative.

Consider first of all what you think about the negative comment. It may be true; you may have tried unsuccessfully to diet in the past. For whatever reason that diet did not work. Analyse that if you want. The important point here – the positive point – is that you want to try to lose weight now. You have found another system to achieve what you realise you need to achieve and you have set out to reach your goal. Others may have found fault with the plan you want to try. This does not mean it will not work for you. You could think about why that person is dismissive of your ideas or doubts the weight loss programme you have chosen to try. Maybe this tells you more about them than what you want to do. If they are overweight then this probably reveals something about their psyche and their commitment.

It is not difficult to put those bad vibes into context and realise they have little worth. The truth is that you have nothing to prove to anyone else. You have decided to lose weight because you are fat and you don’t want to be fat anymore. 

What would you do if someone you knew who was overweight and told you they were going to diet? I hope you would be pleased for them and encouraging. The majority of people around you will be. Take that and be grateful and encouraged by the support. Anyone who does not join the ranks of supporters is entitled to their opinion but you do not have to listen to their negative comments. You know enough about what you are doing and, if you have taken medical advice before starting to lose weight, you know the plan is good. You know you have the strength of character to see this through. You also know that you are doing this for yourself. It will be very good to show those around you who encourage you that they have backed a winner. It will be fine for your doubters to find that despite their negativity, you reached your target and have not rebounded back to being a fat person. With a bit of luck this will encourage them to be more positive and maybe if they are also overweight they will learn from your example and try to lose weight. If you find that is true, remember how important the positive comments were to you on your journey. Be encouraging.

 Do not worry. There may be no one who suggests anything negative. You will get far more positive support and you should be encouraged. You do not need anyone to tell you that you are doing the right thing. That does not change the fact that it is very good to hear it. Buoyed up by this support, reassured by unsolicited encouraging remarks, your objective will be all the easier to reach. 

Do not be afraid to speak to your friends if you have hard patches. I would suggest you rely most on your closest circle. If you want to vary your diet, explain the things you can eat and maybe your partner can think of a way of making this more varied or interesting. My wife was particularly ingenious at this. When she realised how effective the diet was, she became determined to support me and as she does most of the cooking, worked very hard to prepare me a range of delicious satisfying meals which follow the guidance of the plan very closely. I am very fortunate and knew that before I began to lose weight. You will find that those closest to you, those who want you to succeed will be glad to put their minds to the question of finding interesting, tasty dishes.

You may have friends who have already successfully lost weight. Speak to them about what they did. It may be they reached their goals by a similar method, in which case so much the better. They will be pleased to share their experiences. Take help wherever you find it, so long as it is compatible with your plan.

Do not forget your professional support. Your doctor can provide advice. If you opt for the support package which goes with the diet plan, use it. There is also a lot of assistance available from people you don’t know who are following the same plan as you. Check the internet. You will find several blogs from others who either already have lost the weight they wanted to lose, or are on the way. I will not single out any particular blogs, except this one, because I have not looked at them all. If you want to interact with other dieters this way, I invite you to test your favourite search engine and find what is out there.